How to Marry a Finnish Girl – Everything You Want to Know about Finland, that Finns Won't Tell You by Schwarzmann Phil

Author:Schwarzmann, Phil [Schwarzmann, Phil]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Gummerus Publishers
Published: 2011-11-28T20:00:00+00:00

When Visiting Finland, What Should I Drink?

Every Finn can fit into one of six different drinking categories. Read below to see which type of Finnish drinker you are, then learn your drink of choice:

The Cognac Connoisseur

Features: Mustache. Huge gut. Loves his Mercedes and gun collection. Hates Russians. Votes Perussuomalaiset (a nationalist political party).

Hobbies: Hunting. Ice-hockey. The News. Racism.

Favorite Song: “Tulvii Pohjanmaa” by Janne Tulkki

Drink of choice: Martell Cordon Bleu Cognac, Expensive Reds, Finnish Beer

The Cognac Connoisseur finishes off every good meal with a glass of cognac. Such class! This simpleton grew up poor, gained wealth in the construction industry, and now impresses women by pretending to be an expert on the wine list. When the waitress pours a glass of wine, the Cognac Connoisseur sniffs it, twirls it, eyes it, sips it, swirls it, and finally, embarrasses himself in front of his guests. When a flight attendant asks,“red or white?”, the Cognac Connoisseur sitting in economy asks to see the bottle, lowers his spectacles to examine the bottle, pretends to know French, then accepts.

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